Immersed in Goop

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Presented by: Cristina
Category: Hoax

Goop is a line of healthcare products shilled by Gwyneth Paltrow and developed by the research team on the space station behind the moon, using ingredients from beyond the ice wall and humanely tested on drop bears. Products come in three categories:


 * Wellness. This contains every day products and diets as well as magical protection, such as a black onyx egg that will save you from vagina curses.
 * Conversational. Goop sells a numerous candles, such that smells like some unidentified person's vagina.
 * Aspirational, such as the gold vibrator.

The fact that Paltrow, the face of the business, has tried very few of these products should not be cause for alarm.

Takeaway: Fuck Goop. Fuck every crackpot doctor. Fuck Gwyneth Paltrow

Trivia

 * Patreon skit: Tech support